This week’s blog post is a continuation of a multipart series on how to tackle fear and anxiety. This week, I discuss how to be present and the benefits of visualization.

Just Breathe

My father once said, take things a day at a time. If you cannot take it a day at a time, take it an hour at a time. If that does not work, then take it a minute at a time, and if you are still worried, take it one breath at a time. This advice proved especially helpful when I was going through my divorce.

What else can we do to be present? Practice focusing on just your breath. Feel it fill your lungs as you breathe in through your nose, and slowly exhale out through your mouth. Focus on the sound your breath makes, how the oxygen makes your body feel, and how your body relaxes when you exhale.

There are several breathing methods that will help calm your body and mind. One method I learned is the “Ha” breath. Get into a comfortable position, either sitting with your legs uncrossed and feet on the ground or lie down. Place your hands on your belly. Breathe in through your nose and fill your belly with air. Avoid breathing into your chest, as this will induce anxiety. When you cannot breathe in anymore, open your mouth wide and exhale, “Haaaaaaa” until all the air is out of your lungs. Practice this 5 to 10 times. You can also count backwards silently after each breath. By the time you hit that number, your heart beat will have slowed and your body will relax. Works every time!

Be Present

Very recently, I had a crippling anxiety attack and asked my step mother, who is a licensed therapist, to help calm me down. The first thing she said was to take a deep breath in through my nose, hold it for three seconds, and then breath out. Wait three seconds, and inhale again, hold it for three seconds, and breathe out. I repeated this three times. 

Then, she told me to look around me and feel five things in my environment. I told her her I could feel the padding of the chair I was sitting on, the cold metal of the arm rest, the cushion of my shoes, the fabric of my dress, and the cool air circulating around me.

Next, she told me to name four things I could hear around me. I told her I could hear the footsteps of the people walking in the corridor, the voices of people talking around me, the periodic announcement on the loud speaker, and the sound of my voice,

Then, she told me to name three colors I could see. I told her I saw the blue of my dress, the black color of the seat I was on, and the white of the floor underneath me.

She then asked me how I felt. I did feel much calmer. This is an exercise that she uses frequently on her patients experiencing acute anxiety. 

Visualization

This is a proven method that some of the greatest athletes in the world practice. Let’s say you are preparing for a presentation at work and are anxious as to how it will go.

Close your eyes and picture yourself standing behind a podium in front of a crowd. They are transfixed by your every word, and they see the importance of your topic. At the end they stand up and give you a roaring applause.

If you are still feeling doubt, write down how you would like the scenario to go, and read it out loud. Keep reading it out loud until you start to believe it.

Remember, we create our own reality. We attract what we want if we focus on it hard enough.